When Urine Denial

 Ok so this is going to sound really weird but it makes sense I swear just bear with me. 

So. Imagine you are intentionally left on a beautiful deserted beach with crystal blue water and white sand. You are standing in the ocean just a little ways from the shore with your head up to the sky letting the sun shine down on your face and it’s a perfectly beautiful day. All of your bills are paid, no stress and you are happy when all of a sudden a giant evil jellyfish stings you. It hurts so bad but what can you do? You are on a deserted beach with nothing but yourself and your swimsuit. Then you remember your kids are there on the shore tanning in the sand. You quickly run to them and beg for help. There is no first aid kit so if you have ever seen the Friends episode regarding the jellyfish sting you will know what needs to be done. So you ask your kids which one of them is willing to pee on you to alleviate the sting but despite everything you have ever done for them no one is willing to do it. This leaves you in terrible pain both physically and mentally due to the sting of the jellyfish as well as the sting of your kids’ decisions. 

This ridiculous scenario is an EXACT parallel to my life as a parent right now. I know what you are thinking. How in the world can you make this relate to your life as a parent? I’ll explain. My twins, no longer kids but to the rest of the world, not including myself, are considered adults. They are on track to graduate high school in almost exactly 4 months. When they do, they are both going away to college and I am staying here. I will be continuing to get up every morning and go to work and cook dinner and grocery shop and do all the things I do but minus two kids. I became a mom at age 22. Just a kid myself. I have struggled like any other mom with guilt, decision-making, and just life in general. But no matter what was thrown at me, at the end of the day I got to hug my girls and tell them I love them, and go to sleep knowing without a doubt that they were safe. 

In the past two years, we have grown very close and my kids have blossomed into more than I could ever expect or ask for in a daughter. I love spending time with them and learning about the things that make them happy and sad as well as their desires for the future. I have been standing in the water on a beautiful beach thinking life was great when the sudden sting of reality and their looming graduation got me. Now I know for a fact that at least Avery would pee on me if it meant I could be pain-free but Kenna is questionable. The fact is though that they are excited about this next chapter and they aren’t willing to change plans or shrink because I am in “pain.” I wouldn’t want them to anyway. Of course, I am proud of them and I want them to experience all of the things college has to offer and I want them to explore life and go on adventures. I desperately want all those things for them but also I still want to tell them I love them at the end of the day and hug them and know that they are safe. No one told me this part of motherhood was going to be so hard. I thought it was the terrible two’s or tweenagers. But it’s this. It’s having to come to terms with life-changing and kids growing up and your #momlife identity being a little less mom-ish. No doubt I still have plenty of mommin’ left to do with Maizy but one kid (even if it IS Maizy) is still less than three. 

So if you have been through this season in life and have any advice for me on how to manage please offer it up! With prom dress shopping, senior pictures, and college orientation day all coming up, I am feeling like I would rather take a jellyfish to the leg at this point.