For later

 Usually when I write a blog post it’s because something significant happened in my life that keeps sticking with me. This post is no exception. Everyone knows about my later in life fairy tale story with my middle school sweetheart. Also, most know about my three girls and my recent end to an 18 year marriage that now that we are both being honest about, lasted ten years too long. Those closest to me also know about my extreme anxiety and need to please everyone and be liked. I think we can all agree I’ve got some issues. But who doesn’t? As luck would have it my girls have inherited my anxiety issues as well. Recently I had a hard conversation with my youngest about her fears and insecurities. During this conversation she expressed to me that she would NEVER get married and her reason being was that “all guys start out good but then they change and it’s always bad.” I want to add though that she did say her Papa was excluded. Anyway, this really broke my heart. It hasn't left my mind since our conversation. I know she has had a lot of trouble emotionally since the divorce and maybe some things have swayed her opinions that I won’t get into but the actions of one seem to dictate her feelings about a lot of things. It’s not fair. She’s at the age now that nothing I say or do makes any sense to her and she knows better than me on most subjects. I’m giving her space and time on this because I think that’s what she needs right now. But my whole reason for this blog is to be able to have it for reference when she does come around one day and wants to talk to me about all of it and maybe wants to give the thought a chance that not EVERY man changes into something she doesn’t like. So here it is. This is the proof for when that time comes for my sweet girl. 

Dear Maizy,

I found the absolute love of my life at 39 years old. I had known him for a really long time already and guess what? His heart never changed. He told me he loved me when he was twelve years old and he still tells me every single day. He gave up his business and friends and his home in a city he loved for me and for us. He never second guessed his decision. He fell in love with you and your sisters instantly stating that you girls were an extension of me so how could he not love you. He asks my opinion and takes it into consideration. During a snowstorm and blackout he held his phone up as a flashlight so he could cook us spaghetti for dinner on our gas stove. He takes me places I’ve never been before and loves to see me get excited about it. He’s honest. He makes me laugh. He refers to me as his “partner” because he says we are a team. He knows my anxieties and limits. He challenges me to push through them but comforts me when I can’t. He stays up late helping with homework and wraps Avery’s ankle after a hard week of dance practices. He puts gas in Avery’s car for her and buys board games for Family Game Night which he gets ridiculously excited about. He makes elaborate scavenger hunts for Easter and spends a stupid amount of money on baskets to go along with the suprise. He recognizes you and your sisters for the good things you do. He works really hard. He googles things like “What is the best shoe for a 12 year old girl to wear for volleyball?” He hugs me and holds my hand. He is proud of me. He watches shows and movies he really isn’t interested in but I am so he does it. He cleans, he cooks, he does laundry, he grocery shops. There is SO much more I could say, but I think I’ve already proven my point. Not ALL men change. There are amazing ones out there who will love you with all they have. Don’t give up on that ideal yet. Thank God I didn’t.

Love,

Mom

And Brandon James Addicks, I know you will read this. Thank you for always doing what you say you will do and loving us literally to the point where we question your motives. You will make all the difference even though it’s hard to see right now. I love you. 💗💗💗

💗💗