Rusty Razor Reality Check

So. Let me tell you what happened today…

This morning as we were about to sprint to the car to leave for school Maizy comes out of her room and says “Mommy, I’ve had this bump under my armpit for like a month now and just now when I put on my deodorant it hurt.” I felt around under her armpit and discovered a lump which in my mind looked like the size of a baseball but in reality it’s more like a bean. I immediately felt sick to my stomach. This is due in huge part to Web MD who has single handedly ruined parenthood for me. My first thought was something bad and I probably don’t even have to say it because you already know what I was thinking. Anyway, I called the doctor the second they opened and made an appointment for 1:40 this afternoon. All morning I felt like throwing up. My anxiety was at an all time high. 

I took a half day at work and left at noon. I went straight to Maizy’s school to pick her up. She didn’t know I was coming. On any given day she whines and cries and begs me not to send her to school and when I have to practically drag her out of the car every morning kicking and screaming I always get an earful from her. However, today when I pulled her out and she found out she was going to the doctor, she suddenly wants to stay and be an allstar student! Her hatred for the doctor has always outweighed her hatred for school. So since I got her out before lunch time I took her through the drive thru at Chick-fil-a to soften the blow. While waiting on her “usual” in the drive thru line she asked me if we could run by the house before we went. I said no because that would be out of the way. She insisted that I take her though because she hadn’t worn a bra today and she didn’t want the doctor to get a peek at anything so she wanted to put one on. By the way, she’s eleven and there is nothing to see yet. Reluctantly, I took her and wasted much more time and gas than I wanted to. 
We arrived at the doctor’s office and after the usual paperwork and misunderstanding of our insurance policy we finally reached a room. I had told the nurse that I wanted to speak to the doctor alone before she saw Maizy. I actually do this a lot because Maizy has such bad anxiety and the doctors always want to tell you the worst case scenario so I always want them to know that if they need to tell me something like that, they need to talk to me privately. Anyway, the nurse comes in and does her temperature, pulse, blood pressure spiel. And then she leaves the room. A few minutes later she opens the door and tells me there is some paperwork I need to sign and to step out for a second. I told Maizy to stay where she was and the nurse leads me into the room next door. She said she just did that so I could speak with the doctor privately before she saw Maizy. The doctor comes in and I start telling her about Maizy’s anxiety and all of a sudden I lose my ever loving mind. My own anxiety must have kicked into full gear at that moment and I started crying and just couldn’t stop. After I finally calmed myself down and was able to go back to Maizy’s room I opened the door and there she is sitting on the exam table with her skinny little legs crossed reading a magazine and she looks up at me and says “and where have you been?” 
A few minutes later the doctor comes in and clearly doesn’t believe anything I said about Maizy being the one worried. And I don’t blame her one bit. She looks carefully at the lump under Maizy’s arm as I hold my breath and the tears back. When she’s done, she steps back and asks me if Maizy has started shaving yet. I say no and then I look over at Maizy. She has a look in her eyes like she just committed a crime and got caught. I say “Right Maizy? You haven’t been shaving.” She doesn’t say a word. I give her the death stare and finally she spills. She tells me and the doctor that right after she turned 11 last month she started shaving her armpits but she didn’t want me to find out so she has been waiting for the girls to finish with a dull old razor and throw it away. Then she digs it out of the trash and uses it. Well as the doctor suspected, she must have either cut her skin or got an ingrown hair and it has gotten infected and formed a nasty infectious lump in her armpit. And now, she gets to take huge antibiotic pills for seven days and use a topical antibiotic cream on it. I hope shaving was worth it to her because after a mental breakdown, a half day off work, another tank of gas, and $100 in meds and doctor visits, I am wrapping the receipts from today and putting them under the tree for Christmas. Oh and to top off the day I made her get a flu shot. That should teach her to want to grow up too fast. Lord give me strength.