Too Old for This

I’m not exactly sure where my youth went, but if I had to guess I would say somewhere between mopping my bathroom floor and trying to match up socks. Also sitting on hold with Verizon tech support and searching through Target clearance items that I do not need.

  When the twins were little I was a young mom. I had two kids and I was only 22 years old. I had the patience of a Saint and I could keep up with them. Then Maizy came along. I made a valiant effort to keep that up but when your child is a mix between Nikki Minaj and Richard Simmons, it’s hard to stay focused. For instance, this morning as I’m trying to get ready for work and pack 4 lunches I assumed Maizy was getting ready for school. Then ten minutes before we are supposed to walk out the door I find her in her pajamas making a fort with all of our toilet paper. Then there is a long tear filled standoff in the driveway over the proposed seating arrangement in the car for the literally 2 minute drive to drop her off. Then I go to work. After work I drive Avery to dance class half way around the world, and then I go pick Maizy up from Girl Scouts. I listen to her stories in the car about all of the things she “got away” with at school today (even though her daily folder doesn’t reflect that) and I listen to how she is cold, and hungry, and how I should have let her sit in the front seat this morning because I ruined her whole day.

  I get home and husband is attempting to make dinner because I begged him to. Maizy has had all week to do her homework that is due tomorrow and she hasn’t even started it, so I sit down with her and see she has a spelling test the next day. One of the words is “splice.” I ask her how to spell it and she writes “slyche.” ugh. We work on that for a while and then I drive back half way around the world to get Avery from dance early because she called me crying about a headache. I pick her up and get back home at 9:00 to an extremely messy kitchen, I haven’t eaten dinner yet, and all of my kids are STILL doing homework. Also I notice that when husband made dinner he left the loaf of bread I need to make lunches tomorrow too close to the stove burner and melted the plastic onto the bread forcing me to find an alternative to sandwiches in the morning.  I try to bribe Maizy into bed but eventually I have to ground her and listen to her cry about it until she falls asleep.

  When my alarm goes off in the morning at 5:30 AM, I will get up and do it all over again, but with a whole new set of dramatic situations. I love my life and I wouldn’t change a thing (except maybe I would have picked better Powerball numbers) however… I’m getting too old for this crap! Sweet dreams drama queens.