Adventures In Babysitting.....While Doing Yard Work!

So, tonight was what we call, "yard work" night, where Zach trims the bushes, weed eats, and edges, while I mow. I don't mind my part at all since the mower actually goes by itself and I basically guide it. I am not good at yard work by any means though. My mow lines are often crooked, and I miss little patches here and there, but hey it's good enough! Well tonight we set out to get everything done at about 6:30. We started in the back first. The kids were out playing and I didn't have to watch them too closely because they are fenced in, well so I thought. I had just finished my first swipe across the yard when I look over and Maizy is sitting in the doghouse. The gross, dirty, nasty, wet, doghouse. So I turn off the mower and go drag her out, kicking and screaming. I distract her with something shiny and then I go try again. I start up the mower and make a couple more swipes. Then I hear a scream. It's not a Maizy scream, it's an Avery scream. So, I turn off the mower and check on the situation. Avery is balling hysterically because Kenna pushed her off of her scooter and she has skinned her knee. Kenna is shouting, "No, I accidentally ran into her and she fell off by herself!" So, one bandaid and 3 pink popsicles later, I fire up the mower again. Now you may be wondering where dad (Zach) is. Well, he is ignoring the situations that arise so he can be done with yard work, and I would if I could, but I can't because I'm "MOMMY." So, let's try this again. This time I am trying to just keep my head down so I don't see what they are destroying or doing to each other. I mean, it's HOT out here!! The next thing I know Kenna has run up behind me and she is beating me on the behind saying, "Mommy, Mommy!" I turn off the mower and say, "What?!" "Look at Maizy," she says. I look over and our one and a half year old has managed to get our tiny dog in a choke hold and she is trying to force feed her goldfish crackers, which she has dumped a whole bag of upside down on the porch. I run over, release the dog, and say, "Who got these goldfish out?" No one is saying anything but all signs point to Avery. So, I give her "the look" and she crosses her arms, jumps up and down, and says," Well she wanted them!" I tell Avery to sweep them up and stay outside and I try to explain to Maizy that we don't choke Lou Lou and I go start the mower once again. I can hear Avery yelling "This isn't fair!" and out of the corner of my eye I can see random goldfish flying across the porch. I am just about done with the backyard when I see that Maizy has climbed on top of our bistro table and she has my cell phone up to her ear. I don't think she is smart enough to call anyone but with that child, who knows anymore. I turn off the mower once again, go get her down off the table, retrieve my phone, and finally finish mowing the backyard, only after I have run over a princess tea cup, two golf balls, and a small G.I Joe. Also, I wore flip flops so my feet are now green. GREAT!! Onto the front. "Come on kids let's go to the front!" Kenna takes her bike and Avery takes her scooter, and Maizy takes 26 different items from the garage to the driveway and leaves them there! Well, right out of the gate, literally, Avery gets in trouble for going into the street on her scooter. I tell her to come sit in time out in the garage and she throws her scooter down and does her "I never do anything, but I always get in trouble" act which only adds time onto her punishment. After about 5 to 10 minutes Avery is able to get up and she gets on her scooter and darts down the driveway and runs right smack into Kenna. they both fall off, they are crying and bleeding, this yard is never going to get finished!! So, two bandaids and three capri suns later, I am at it again. I hear Avery and Kenna slam the door to go inside and I think they got hot and went in to watch tv. Yeah!! Now I can finish because Maizy is still fascinated with rearranging the garage. A few minutes go by and the girls come back outside in their bikinis! I say, "What are you doing? Why did you change clothes?" They say they got hot. Zach sees this and tells them to go back inside and put their clothes back on. Which Kenna does without any arguments. Avery, on the other hand, throws a huge fit and chunks the bicycle pumps into the street in a fit of rage. I let her do all of this and I finish the rest of the mowing. Then I go inside and take away Avery's nintendo DS and her favorite pair of shoes (she loves shoes more than toys) and Avery and I have a 10 minute tear filled chat about her behavior. Then I go back outside and help Zach pick up the bike, the scooter, half his tool box, the bike pump, and several other random things Maizy has brought out, and we call time on the yard work at 8:45. It took two hours and fifteen minutes to do a one hour job! I'm really starting to despise "yard work night." Mental note-we're out of bandaids!!