First of all let me start by saying, my family spends a LOT of time together. We are always at a basketball game, a dance class, or t ball practice. A good chunk of our time together is spent in the car, however, we are still together so it counts. We come home and eat dinner together, watch TV together, do homework together, etc. Sometimes it’s almost like too much togetherness. People always tell me I should treasure this time because I will miss it eventually when my kids are all grown up and I have less to do. I don’t know if I believe that. Ask me again in 10 years. Even though we spend all of this time “together” I’m not sure it’s quality time. It’s basically rush rush get through til bedtime. There isn’t any weight to it. It’s crazy and fast, and although every day is different I sometimes feel like I’m trapped in the movie Groundhog’s Day but my own version where the dog pees right by my bed and I step in it as I’m getting up. I try to make life fun for the kids, but I’m so dang tired when we get home at night that a bedtime story is about all the fun I can muster up before hitting the pillow. So, I had an idea to take each one of my girls on a date. One at a time. I would choose something different for each one of them based on their interests. I started two weeks ago with Avery.
I decided to take Avery to dinner and then to see a high school drill team’s spring show. Also, it just happened to be my old high school drill team so I didn’t mind seeing it too. I made her get dressed up and I did her hair. We ate at Chili’s and then went on to the show. I learned that Avery is amazing. I already knew really, but this date confirmed it. She’s 11 and she’s growing up. She lives in her own little world where there is no rhyme or reason to the things that happen. She is happy go lucky although when things go wrong she gets very upset. She wants to fit in. She wants people to like her, but she doesn’t want to change or sacrifice any part of herself to do so. She cares about me and everyone in our family. She loves to dance, and she’s good at it. She has so much more confidence than I ever did. She is patient, polite, and thankful for everything she has. She has the same mannerisms as my dad. Although she wants so badly to be older than she really is, she is aware that she is still a kid. She isn’t afraid to talk to me. Like, really talk to me. She thinks boys are cute now. She compares herself to Kenna but if she is the one lacking, it doesn't get her down, it just makes her work harder. People love her for her silliness and willingness to look like a dork for laughs. She makes me laugh.
The next weekend it was Maizy’s turn. I took her to eat at her favorite place, Chick-Fil-A and then we went to the American Airlines Center to see Disney On Ice presents Frozen. I had so much fun on this date, not because we went to Disney on Ice but because Maizy was SO good. She actually talked to me without yelling and she didn’t demand a single thing. Her face was priceless when we walked into the arena. She was wide eyed the whole time. She held my hand and hugged me. She never got out of her seat or said she was bored once! I learned that even though she often acts much older than she is, she is still only six. She is adventurous and spirited. Of course I already knew that, but I often mistake her “spirit” for trouble. Maybe. She is so smart. Maybe not book smart, but common sense smart. Like, if I left her alone in the woods, she would survive, smart. I also learned that although she swears she hates me quite often, she really doesn’t. She seeks my approval and attention in the most unusual ways. I think she will grow up to be one awesome person someday. She is meant to do something great.
And last but definitely not least, this weekend I took McKenna on her date. This one was by far the most needed and best one out of the three. McKenna is the hardest of the girls to crack. She has always had a hard shell and never talks about her feelings or shows affection at all. She is usually all business. Zach has bonded with her more since she is into sports. I always take Avery to dance class and he always takes Kenna to basketball. Also, Zach is the same way with feelings, so they get along great. They just talk basketball all the time and they like it like that. I ask too many questions and I get too deep, so she normally avoids me. We started out at Chipotle for dinner, then we went to Yogurtland for dessert. After that we went bowling and then we did some window shopping at the mall. She talked to me. Not just about her grades or her position on the basketball team. She talked to me about her friends, and school, and her goals for the future. I learned that she isn’t shy, she’s just extremely focused. She is book smart. I mean way smarter than I was at her age, and maybe even now. Sad, I know. She wants to be a journalist when she grows up. She has the biggest heart for animals. She is so talented and athletic. She will argue to the death if she knows she is right. She worries a lot. She is so incredibly sweet. She deliberately got less frozen yogurt than she wanted to avoid the price being too high. She thinks ahead. I’ve always said that I wish she would let loose a little and let more people in, but I’m glad she is who she is. I won’t have to worry about her choices being the wrong ones. She is determined to make her life special. I’m not gonna interfere with that!
Spending this one on one time with each of my kids was exactly what I needed right now. At a time when they are driving me crazy and homework is a nightmare and their chores aren’t getting done, and all I want to do is ground them, I needed this. It’s like getting spring break off from work, and when you go back that next Monday it isn’t so bad. I appreciate them individually for who they are and I love them along with all of their faults. I always have and I always will. I guess sometimes it just takes a date with your daughter to remind you of that.
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